Connecting Authentically in Business: Showing My Cards
I think it's really hard to connect authentically in business.
There’s a specific idea of “professionalism” that’s all about presenting an image. It's meant to inspire confidence in our abilities.
We all know how to clothe ourselves in the local camoflage: look 'em in the eye, speak the corporate patois, adjust our manner to match the surroundings. Plus, I'm from Virginia, so the “belle” charm and social skills are deeply ingrained.
But at the end of the day, I feel like all those things are really just a variation of the “always be closing” mentality — tiresome "old-think," relics of a bygone business-age.
Today, I’m much more interested in connecting. So if I’m not going to be my real self, then what’s the point of showing up?
More to the point, not only do I want people to know how I really am before they work with me, but I actually don’t want to work any longer with people who aren’t on the same wavelength.
So I always show my cards.
I’m a happy person. I’m warm and friendly. I have a loud, infectious laugh. And since I see humor in almost everything, I laugh often.
And even though there are easily five million things that I totally suck at (a conservative estimate), I'm totally awesome at communications.
There are probably people who think that attitude's unprofessional. There may even be people who simply find it unappealing. But I’m surprisingly OK with that. Because being my authentic self is so incredibly freeing. It’s so much more satisfying to just let go of the effort to be perfect — which is futile anyway — and to give up striving for the good opinion of others (which is so incredibly boring).
Being my truest self doesn’t just create happier working relationships for me, it creates a happier life.
Connecting authentically at work begins by being authentic with ourselves. It means owning the truth about who we are.
What are we truly amazing at? That’s the sweet spot for our clients and customers.
What do we suck at? We gain credibility when we admit our shortcomings. And we become a trusted resource when we refer clients to colleagues who can help them more than we can.
What are we currently learning? Admitting that we don’t know everything doesn’t detract from our expertise. To the contrary, a learner’s mind is the key to true expertise. And the things that we're learning are the things that make us interesting.
Being real in business is a win-win.
Customers buy from companies that inspire confidence, they refer others to companies they trust, employees want to work for companies — and people — that are real with them. Authenticity generates good will that translates into more business and more top-notch employees.
Actually, that’s a win-win-win. Win. Win-win. You get the idea.
Ciao for now!
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Photo credit: 30-Card Polyhedron by Blyzz via Flickr, used under a Creative Commons license.
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Reader Comments (2)
Speaking as a fellow optimist, you are very lucky to be a naturally warm and happy person. It's far easier for those like us to make authentic connections with others than surly pessimists, simply because of our outlook - we like to connect with other humans.
I really like what you have to say about expertise, ignorance, and learning - in an authentically-connected world, there isn't the same kind of competition to be "right" that exists in a more traditional, authoritarian hierarchy. We get to recognize and enjoy the fact that first of all, we are each humans, before we consider the functions that we can perform for each other, professionally-speaking.
On a somewhat related note, do you read Copyblogger (copyblogger.com)? They have a lot of really great content around making "real" connections with your customers and potential customers. I started looking at their site because of their WordPress theme, and have stayed with them because of the content.
Hi Anca! Thanks for stopping by. Brian Clark is one of my favorite bloggers. I like that although his focus is ostensibly "persuasion marketing," what that boils down to is basically being real. (And, of course, he's wildly useful!)
People don't want to be "marketed to" anymore. Consumers are too savvy and well-informed to just accept prepackaged messages. And in fact, are rightfully distrustful of them. Nobody can hide anything anymore (for very long) so we might as well just cowboy-up and be ourselves. And if we can't withstand the scrutiny, then we better clean up our act. It's a digital world, baby! ;)
Nice to hear from you. I'll be in touch soon.